Anna Rogue's Birth Story

It took a long time for Darrell and I to decide we wanted to add a third child to our family. Our two sweet daughters filled our hearts completely; we didn't feel a void or a longing in any way. And then one day, when our girls were four and a half and two and a half, we asked the question, "What if...?"

Ten months later, Anna Rogue was born.

Samantha & Tessa, ages 4 & 2

First ultrasound

My pregnancy was rather uneventful, although uncomfortable. During the last trimester, I visited a chiropractor several times a week to try to alleviate some sciatic pain and to make sure I was in the best possible alignment for giving birth. Since Tessa spent quite a few of her last weeks in utero in a transverse position, and then was ultimately born posterior (sunny side up), my goal was to reduce the risk that this baby would follow suit. This was especially important because for the first time, I was going to deliver in a hospital.

24 weeks

Beginning of the last trimester!

My oldest was born in a lovely, small birth center in the middle of Amish country. My second was born at home in a city. Now we lived in the Adirondack mountains, an hour away from medical care. Despite my hopes to have another home birth, we decided to have this baby at the hospital since we lived so remotely. This was a very hard decision - after two incredibly amazing, supportive birth experiences I was nervous about going to the hospital for numerous reasons. I discussed these thoroughly with the midwives, and prayed a lot to calm my fears.

Anna's estimated due date was November 21st, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. The plan was that my mother-in-law would drive out that week to stay with Samantha and Tessa when it was time to go to the hospital. Since Samantha was born right on time, and Tessa was eight days late, I fully expected this baby to be born sometime after Thanksgiving. Which is why, when I started showing signs of labor nine days early, I was in denial.

It started as a strong ache in my hamstrings. It was a Sunday night, and we were hosting a game night with some of our friends who lived on campus. I couldn't sit down, my legs ached so badly. I had heard that sometimes contractions can manifest in your legs, but this was more of a constant ache than any sort of rhythmic pain, so I ignored it as best as I could.

The following morning, the 13th, I began having mild, very inconsistent contractions. Since I had had contractions for almost a week with Tessa, I didn't take these contractions very seriously. In the back of my mind I realized I hadn't finished packing my hospital bag, so I finished that up and then took the girls down to Glens Falls for my chiropractor visit. The contractions were much more noticeable on the hour long drive - anywhere from 5-10 minutes apart - but slowed slightly after my adjustment. I ran next door to Walmart to grab a pair of yoga pants to toss into the hospital bag to wear after the baby was born, and then we ran a few more errands and headed home.

I spent the afternoon resting, still with intermittent contractions. I texted my mother-in-law to let her know what was going on, but was hesitant to ask her to come out because I worried that these contractions would fade and she would be stuck out by us for a week or two. I didn't want to inconvenience her, especially with her wedding anniversary the next day. Still, she offered to drive out the next day, "just in case." At some point that afternoon, my sister (with whom I had been texting) told me to stop worrying about being an inconvenience and just ask my mother-in-law to come right away. Even though I was still in denial, I took my sister's advice and asked my mother-in-law to come out that night. She said she would leave around dinnertime and be there late that night. Unbeknownst to us, we would actually leave for the hospital before she arrived!

Of course, the contractions got stronger and more consistent as the evening progressed. In my other labors, I had moved around a lot to encourage labor, but this time around I felt no where near ready to give birth, so I spent the evening lying down and half hoping the contractions would stop and I would have more time. But babies will come when they want to come. Around 10:00, Darrell went down to work to take care of a few last minute things (again - "just in case"), and my water started to leak. My contractions were now 5-7 minutes apart, but because we lived so far from the hospital and this was my third baby, I called the midwives anyway. Fortunately, my favorite midwife, Carly, was on duty, and she told me to come in right away. My mother-in-law still hadn't arrived, but our friend Amanda, who also lived on campus, came up to stay with the sleeping girls while Darrell and I left for the hospital. We drove an hour over the mountain, with contractions now 3-5 minutes apart, and made it to the hospital without any middle-of-the-night roadside deliveries. (Admittedly, that would have made a pretty awesome birth story.... maybe much more interesting than this one... but I am very glad it didn't turn out that way!)

I was admitted to the hospital around 11:30 p.m. on the night of the 13th. I had originally planned to ask for the room with the birthing tub, but this time around, I just didn't really want to get wet. Honestly, I didn't want to do anything. While I was, somewhere in my brain, excited to meet my baby, I had a really hard time getting psyched up for this birth.

The first thing I had to do sit still for 20 minutes attached to the monitor so the nurses could see how my contractions were going and how the baby was faring. This, after sitting in the car for an hour, slowed my contractions way down. After an exam, Carly told me I was 80% effaced but only 2 cm dilated, which was extremely discouraging. She then joked that I had better actually be in labor, because she had told the nurses to admit me right away instead of just signing me in for monitoring as is the typical procedure, and she didn't want to do all the paperwork if I stalled out and had to go home. If my head wasn't in the game up until then, Carly sure knew how to motivate me. I hate to disappoint people! Someone was trusting me to be the expert on my body and how my labor would go, and I was not going to let her down!

About two hours before Anna was born

As soon as I was allowed to get up, I got moving. I walked around the room, did squats, lunges, and whatever else I could do to try to move that baby down. The contractions came back quickly, starting around every three minutes at midnight. Darrell and I played pirate farkle, our favorite hospital game (because yes, we have been in the hospital enough for other reasons to have a favorite hospital game), and then he napped while I binge watched episodes of the Great British Baking Show and did lunges, squats and hip circles until the contractions got too strong.

Because I had tested positive for GBS, I was supposed to have IV antibiotics. I had asked my midwife if it would be possible to receive an injection of the antibiotics instead of an IV. I am not great with needles, and I didn't want to be attached to anything. Plus, when my IV backed up when I was in labor with Samantha, I was able to receive an injection instead, so I assumed this would be possible again. Unfortunately, it apparently isn't so simple. My midwife had to communicate back and forth with the pharmacy several times - initially it was okay, then it wasn't, then it might be, then it was definitely not, etc. By the time she came back in to check on me a few hours later and give the final answer from the pharmacy, I was 100% effaced and 6 cm dilated. Carly felt pretty confident at that point that I no longer had the four hour window needed for the antibiotics to take effect.

I kept moving around to keep things progressing, and for a long time the contractions were very manageable, even in close intervals. I felt strong and confident; I knew what I needed to do and I trusted my body to do it. Then things got real. The contractions became much more intense. I stopped timing them, and then stopped looking at the clock altogether. Around this time the nurse had a hard time finding the baby's heartbeat, so I had to lay on my back for monitoring for another 20 minutes. Those 20 minutes were excruciating. The contractions were so much worse while I was on my back, motionless. As soon as everything checked out on the monitor, I got up on my knees and rested my head against the upright back of the bed. Darrell applied some counter pressure to my lower back, and I labored like this for a while. My midwife and nurse were completely hands off at this point, while Darrell supported me through the contractions and made little jokes to help me relax in between.

As things moved along, I switched back and forth between being on my knees and leaning forward, and lying on my side to rest. Fear completely took over at this point. Even though I had done this twice before - once with a large, OP baby even - my head just wasn't in the right place. I wasn't prepared, I wasn't ready. Maybe we never are? But I just became fearful and kept telling myself I couldn't do it. Darrell was very encouraging, but I still felt afraid. I couldn't feel any pressure from the baby's head, and I was exhausted. I didn't want this to go on any longer, but I also didn't want to do what was needed to get it over with.

Finally, I started pushing, and my water leaked and leaked. My last ultrasound had revealed a high level of fluid, so the relief that came when it started leaking was instantaneous. When it finally broke, I joked that I had lost ten pounds.

Because I had so much fluid, the nurses asked if they could change my sheets. I knew immediately that if I got up I was going to deliver the baby standing up. Darrell says I thought it so hard he heard it, but I know I didn't say it out loud. He just knew as I got up that I was going to have the baby right away.  I got off the bed and squatted down. Carly and the nurses came over to the tiny corner where I had chosen to stand up, and five of us were crammed in this tiny space. If I had gotten up on the other side of the bed, we would have had ample room, but instead Carly was crouched down on the floor under me, Darrell was smashed into a corner while holding my hand, and a two nurses stood waiting to help. I pushed for another minute, and suddenly out Anna came, along with a lot more fluid. I will never get over the incredibly strange sensation of having a baby suddenly vacate my belly, and it was more intense this time around because of squatting. It was such relief! I remember looking down and seeing her back as Carly held her until I had the strength to take her on my own. It felt like eternity as I watched her little round back and listened to her soft cries before I realized I should take her.

Anna ~ 5 minutes old

That moment of holding Anna for the first time was literally everything. I had held on to so much fear, all throughout the pregnancy and the birth. But as I held on to that sweet baby in the first few moments, it was as though God whispered, "See, I have taken care of everything." All of my worries and fears were washed away. 

Unfortunately, the placenta didn't come out as quickly as it should have, so Carly gave me a shot of pitocin, and I nursed Anna, to try to encourage it along. That didn't work, so after a half an hour, Carly said she was going to have to "go in" and try to get it. This sounded horrendous, so I gladly accepted a shot of morphine first. I usually try to avoid medications and pain killers, but the idea of someone "going in" when my baby had just come out was too much. The shot of morphine in my thigh stung much more than I expected, and it was a sharp contrast to the pain I had just experienced in labor, which is a pain with a life-giving purpose. Fortunately, it didn't take much for the placenta to finally come out, and except for a few wobbly steps when I got up a few minutes later, the morphine didn't really have much effect.

Our beautiful Anna Rogue was born at 4:23 a.m. on Tuesday, November 14, weighing 8 lbs 7 oz. She was 20.5" long. She was my second heaviest baby, but my shortest. Her birth was probably my easiest physically, but my hardest mentally.

We did it!

Because I wasn't able to receive the antibiotics in labor, we had to wait in the hospital for two days. It was hard to rest with the nurses coming in and out. Darrell stayed with me both nights, and the night they took Anna for her newborn screen, he paced the floor as nervously as if he was a first-time father. There is something so incredibly special about watching the man you love fall in love with his child. All three times it has always inspired me and made me love him more deeply and intimately than before.

I was ecstatic when it was finally time to go home. The girls had been to visit each day, but I wanted to get back to being a family. I wanted to snuggle my baby without interruption, and start falling into our new family routine. So, when discharge time came, I dug out the cheap yoga pants I had bought at Walmart just a few days earlier, and discovered that I had bought a youth size instead of adult! I felt so foolish. Fortunately, with a few snipping of seams to loosen them up a bit, I got dressed, put Anna in our traditional "going home" tye-dye onesie, and off we went. Home, over the mountain, to our little house on the lake, with the beautiful baby that less than a year earlier had only been a question of "what if?..."